"Exploring the “Better Friends than Lovers” Philosophy in MLM"

Dr. Eileen Silva © 2005
email:ensilva@aol.com
web: http://www.easilymakingmoney.com

“Some people make better friends than lovers,” I heard him quip, as he rationalized why he was changing his course of action midstream in violation of his agreement. A disappointment on his part about a business campaign justified in his mind the withdrawing of all his promises. I thought to myself: “This happens ALL the time in MLM, doesn’t it?” We often think that just because people SAY one thing, we know what direction they are heading and what they stand for. We even base income and production expectations on those spoken words.

And the longer we’ve known the person or the more we “like” him or her, the more reliable we feel the expectation is. But maybe --- just maybe --- we have been looking for love in all the wrong places. We would serve ourselves better by noticing the integrity of people’s actions.

Many people want to be in relationship with the ultra-successful. They will say or do a lot of things to attract commitment to that relationship. They promise to run ads, arrange meetings, to attend functions, to win trips, to make phone calls, etc.

But ultimately, if they are only saying or doing what they are saying or doing for their benefit, to impress someone, instead of from an altruistic inspiration --- then you cannot trust their promises (as you will soon discover).

If you have been disappointed in the actions of other people in the past, ask yourself what you have based your judgment on. You probably focused virtually all your judgments on what the people were saying rather than on their long-standing actions. Let’s say, for example, that John, a professional friend of yours that you’ve been successfully pitching for several years (who would be GREAT in the business if he would just commit to it), has finally PROMISED that he would join your program and attend the upcoming meeting with a guest or two.

When he doesn’t show up, you shouldn’t be too surprised. Remember . . . for three years now his actions have indicated that he isn’t very interested in your program.

Some people make better “friends than lovers”. To me, the definition of a friend is someone who you can count on, in the good times as well as the bad times, to stand by his or her word and to be an open communicator who will not forsake you just because he or she doesn’t get to control things. In fact, a true friend will use a friendship as a reason to withstand such disappointments and forge on, thus affirming an appreciation of your value in the relationship.

We should probably revise the old saying to read: “Some people make better acquaintances than lovers.” For true friends would not use life circumstances as an excuse to turn on each other, but would rather take the disappointments and console each other for even better bonding and re-group to plan a new strategy. So, beware of what you wish for: you might get it.

To help you avoid future disappointments, here are a few tips to help you hand-select your ideal new recruits:
1). They believe in your company;
2). They believe in you;
3). They believe in the product (or service);
4). They are already using and endorsing it;
5). They like people;
6). They are value-oriented and vision-driven;
7). They probably look too busy to take on your deal;
8). They are not able to resist joining you because the motivation to work with you is compelling;
9). They are people of their word who can be counted on to
be faithful;
10). They are truly interested in helping other people get what
they want out of life;
11). They are positively oriented;
12). They are easy to communicate with;
13). They regard you as an appealing business partner;
14). They are coach-able and flexible.

What more would you really need to ask for? If you could find people who generally meet these criteria, then I’m willing to predict they’ll make equally good “friends or lovers.” And isn’t it nice when we don’t have to choose?

"How to Become a Super Star Sponsor"

Dr. Eileen Silva © 2005
email:ensilva@aol.com
web: http://www.easilymakingmoney.com

If you’re like most of us, as soon as you’ve paid your fee to become a distributor, the first thing you want to know is: “How do I build my organization and make “X” number of dollars a month?” Amazingly, a lot of big money earners may give answers to that question that bring you no closer to achieving your goals than you were before.

For example:

1. “Talk to people.” (Unfortunately, when a new recruit says he or she is not having success doing that, the sponsor or trainer generally says, “You have to talk to MORE people. It’s a numbers game!”).
2. “Run some ads.” (Without ad-closing training and some experience with your product or service, you or your recruits probably will blow all the leads).
3. “Send brochures or tapes to a mailing list.” (This could work with the RIGHT envelope, the RIGHT cover letter, the RIGHT names list, but chances are it will be very expensive and ineffective).

Instead of these ineffective ideas, I want to share my ideas to help you become – starting today – the sponsor you wish you had.

First of all, check your distributor kit out carefully. Virtually every company has valuable tips and information in that kit ¾ everything from conference call schedules, product information sheets, audio cassette tapes, and brochures to company videos, buttons, name jogger lists, and information on trainings and conferences. Start there, for those are all legally approved systems for your company.

Next, put in a call to your upline sponsor, and ask questions like:

How long have you been involved?
What has this opportunity done to improve your health (if you have a health product line) or to cut your communication costs (if you have a phone company), etc?
How has this opportunity changed your lifestyle?
What are your best ideas for helping me build my business?
What books or tapes do you recommend I check out?
What can I count on you for?

Ideally, your upline sponsor has had great product success (therefore, credibility) and is making some significant income already, has upgraded his or her home as a result of the MLM income, and enjoys nice cars, world class vacations, or other lifestyle enhancements as a result of your company’s opportunity. If you discover that your sponsor isn’t going to be an effective guide, then I advise you to go up the line until you find someone who can be a role model for you.

If you are going to become a SuperStar Sponsor in the industry and join us in making really big money (we’ve made over $ 8 million with our present company), remember my five best secrets for making your fortune from home:

1. Begin with the end in mind. Visualize how you are going to live and be very specific about it. 2. Become organized. Until now you may have considered organization a housekeeping issue, which of course it is. But it’s far more ¾ it’s actually an integrity issue.
3. Develop the 21-day-habit system. (If for 21 straight days you repeat something new, then you will build a new habit.)
4. Spend 20 minutes or more each day doing personal development work. In a home-based business, we are really in a “people business” disguised as a “product business.”
5. Consider the EverReady Bunny your personal role model. When you absolutely have to make your home-based business lucrative, you absolutely cannot quit. You must develop a persistence that everyone around you admires, and it’s imperative that you mentor with people who are going to be a real mastermind support for you.

Finally, with these fundamentals in place, ask yourself exactly what you need in a sponsor and become that for everyone who joins YOUR organization. Instead of being an “enabler” who does things for everyone, become an “enpowerer” who transfers skill sets to new recruits. Once you become a master sponsor, set up an internship program for new recruits who want to learn at your feet. You can then truly become the sponsor you wish you had.

“Conceive, believe, achieve!” You can do it, and I’m confident that you will be successful beyond your wildest dreams . . . if you don’t quit. Remember my husband, Taylor’s longtime motto: “We build the people, the people build the business!” Good luck!

"Abandoning the Poverty Mentality Syndrome"

Dr. Eileen Silva © 2005
email:ensilva@aol.com
web: http://www.easilymakingmoney.com

“Conference calls are too expensive.”
“I don’t have the money to attend the conference.”
“I can’t afford to advertise.”
“I’m not making the money John (or whoever) is making, so I’m not able to do X, Y, Z.”

I’ve heard a lot of these comments during my twenty plus years in the business. Interestingly, most of them have been second-hand reports from other distributors, not in-person comments from the speaker. There seems to be a poverty-consciousness in some circles that fosters poverty thinking through language rather than reality.

We are all guilty of it occasionally, and it actually gives us an easy way to prevent excessive spending on frivolous things. I have routinely said I couldn’t afford something that I simply did not want to spend the money on: a hotel suite when a room would do, or another diamond necklace, when I already have several.

My understanding of poverty consciousness goes back to my days as a high school teacher almost thirty years ago. I coined a phrase then, based on observation: “You show me a kid with a $100 a day drug habit, and I’ll show you a kid who learns how to make $100 a day.”

Properly motivated people skip the limits on production. For example, mothers have been known to single-handedly lift cars when their child was pinned beneath the wheels.

After noticing that even kids could come up with cash for whatever they wanted, almost without fail, I concluded that when people in America say they can’t afford something, what they really mean is that you have not yet convinced them that they should part with their money for the object in question.

You’re probably wondering how there’s a logical connection, and then a moral to the story, between a desperate rescuing mother, a teenager “needing” a fix, and you. Here it is! When you begin to focus on “why,” you want to develop your business, and it becomes sufficiently compelling to get you past the normal objections of a skeptical distributor (like those three poverty mentality opening statements I quoted), then you will begin to creatively work around them. Then, you CAN and WILL succeed in this business!


Just use other resources to overcome your deficit. For example:

PROBLEM:
“I don’t have money for conference calls.”
SOLUTION:
1) Use a free conference line or realize that the calls cost just a few dollars monthly, but they will
generate sales. One sale will more than pay for the month’s phone bill;
2) Have your sponsor conference you in;
3) Obtain a tape of the calls.

PROBLEM:
“I don’t have the money to attend the conference.”
SOLUTION:
1) Share a room to minimize expenses;
2) Earn extra money in advance by “thinking increase;”
3) Plan income-expanding business activities in conjunction with the conference.

PROBLEM:
“I can’t afford to advertise.”
SOLUTION:
1) Co-op with downline;
2) Use flyers and inexpensive mediums, like emails;
3) “Trade” advertising for product or services.

Remember: “Thoughts are things.” When say you can’t afford things, you are perpetuating your condition. Why not shift your perspective away from the poverty mentality to a more empowering position? You will discover that you attract a lot more business. In this business, the law of attraction influences success. Become a confident businessperson and great things will begin to happen.

Remember that old expression, “The best things in life are free,” because it still has merit. I received an unexpected call last night for a $350 retail order from a friend of someone who had met me two years ago and had recently shared with the caller about a product I had. His kind words didn’t cost me a dime, yet they generated me a 40% profit on the order.

You can do, be and have anything in life you really take a stand for… so you are--- after all--- very rich in opportunity.